Not Cookie Cutter or Basic.

Looking through all of my various social media sites I have, there seems to be a cookie cutter "bio" that I write. It only states facts, not how I feel about things. Of course, I express who I am on Facebook, through the memes I post, music videos, animal photos/videos, bad puns, and the wacky things that go through my head. But there still isn't a totally clear picture, is there? So I thought I'd write more about me...how I feel, my beliefs, and possibly my background. I have written a bunch on my bipolar, but that is a disease I suffer from, not who I am. I hope you find this somewhat interesting.  In thinking what I was going to write, I found myself a wee bit idealistic. But I am human, and I am nowhere near the idealism that I do believe in. Sometimes the world gets in the way.

My family and friends mean the world to me. I'm not the easiest person to get along with, and it means more to me that they have stuck by me. My Mom raised my sister and me in my Grandparents' home. We were a very tight-knit family and I grew up with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins nearby. My friends mean more to me than I can ever properly express. I'd like to think that I make a good friend, but it would be up to them to decide. I know I try. I always try and be there if they need me, and if I had an endless supply of money, I would share it all with them. 

I don't believe that the words "stupid," "idiot," "dumb, "moron," etc. should be used to describe a person, and I am very cognizant of this. I believe that all people are as intelligent as they are meant to be. I also don't think it's fair to compare one person to another. This goes for intelligence, emotions, the way they cope with stress, etc. I do think that actions or words can be "stupid," "idiot," "dumb," "moronic."

The same goes for mental health terms, but I have a few blogs on that if you are interested.

You will also never hear me say anything that is derogatory towards any disability, ethnicity, religion, and sexual identity. One of the words I really hate is "retard." Or any other prefix you can attach to "tard." I had a friend in school who had a mental disability and heard this constantly. I also saw how it hurt her.

Judging others also bugs the doo doo out of me. We don't know a person's circumstances, or what they've been through. Again, judge the actions. When I find myself judging a person on something and catch myself, I try and come up with alternatives for why the person did or said what they did. There is a line in "To Kill A Mockingbird" (my favorite book, by the way) where Atticus is explaining to Scout that she has to walk around in another person's shoes to try and understand what that person may be going through. This conversation happened after her first day at school where she was reprimanded by the teacher, who was new to the town, and Walter Cunningham, a poor boy that lived on the farm and couldn't afford lunch. That is something that always stuck with me. 

Death is never funny, under any circumstances. You're probably going "Well, duh!" but there is more to it. When Osama bin Laden was killed, I sat here watching TV, and just didn't feel comfortable with all the partying going on. Don't get me wrong on this, he was an evil man and the earth is definitely better off without him. However, he had family and friends that cared about him. The same goes for murderers and serial killers too. When they die on death row, there still is family and friends who loved that person. People hurt on both sides. The only thing that should be celebrated with death is that they are now in a better place.

I am a Christian. However, I don't believe in any denominational physical church. The church I grew up in was amazing. We went to Sunday morning services and groups and dinner on Wednesday night. Since then I haven't had the best of luck. We got involved in a church when we moved down to Florida. I didn't go on Sundays because I have a thing about mornings. But I went to Wednesday night Bible study. The pastor, was usually good, he would get exasperated when I wanted one of my animals to be held up in prayer. The church was The Vineyard. It was founded by a producer for the Everly Brothers. The only thing that was required was to believe in the Bible, and that music was important to worship. There was a great group of people there, and it was something I could get used too. I even decided to get baptized. Then the proverbial shoe dropped. Our beloved Pastor was taking money from the church to pay for his mortgage and a new water heater. Not only that, but he removed our church from The Vineyard without telling any of the congregation. We stopped going. Mom has found another church now, and it sounds cool. I am thinking about it.

So I read the Bible on my own. I worship Him in every creation that is on this planet. I uphold Him by how I live my life. Being kind, compassionate, generous, helpful, empathetic and honest is very important to me. And I pray. Constantly. I have conversations with Him. And I look in wonder at what He's done when I see the perfection and intelligence of an animal, or the endless expanse of the ocean when I go to the beach. I believe in the really humongous miracles that no one can explain, and the tiny miracle of hearing an owl at night. I am endlessly amazed at His creation.

Another reason why I dislike organized churches is because there are a lot of Christians that are too busy criticizing every conceived sin that offends them that they don't see the sin they are committing. If Jesus were to come today, he would be executed by "Christians" just like he was before. In the book "Mere Christianity," C.S. Lewis wrote something to the effect that there are going to be a lot of "Christians" that will find themselves in hell wondering how they got there, and there are going to be some people from remote, isolated tribe in the Amazon who find themselves in heaven any wonder why. I believe that is true.

Another thing that bothers me (we're getting all of this negative stuff our of the way. I promise things will get better!) is ignorance. And I will call it out if I see it. I simply think that if somebody sees a meme that states something "factual" on Facebook, for example, that they should do a little research before posting it. I do that before I post a meme like that. And if someone corrects me, I will be the first one to say I was wrong (and if it's an opinion, I usually don't comment. And debates can get fun.) I usually have a strong opinion about it.) There is no reason in this day and age that you shouldn't know the facts when all you need to do is look it up on the Internet. If it's important enough for you to post, it's important enough to check the facts. Also, if you post a meme that is not only wrong but is hateful, I will also call you out. It is not okay to make hate driven posts at the expense of a specific group of people or person. I believe that what is posted on Facebook reflects on yourself. So if there is something that you don't identify with (I ALWAYS skip memes that mention "stupid people," no matter how funny I think it is) then don't post them. My beliefs will not let me stand by and post such hate. Part of it is my revulsion, and part is that I hope by pointing it out, the person who posted it will understand. 

This deserves a line all its own. When I post political memes and it says "Republicans" or I say "Republicans," I am referring to the Republican LEADERSHIP. I have a lot of family and friends that are Republicans. I love them, and would never criticize them like that. 

What next? POLITICS!! I am a Democrat. However, I do not have a problem voting across the aisle if I think that candidate is the best one. I research policies and positions and watch a lot of TV on the elections. I voted for Charlie Crist for Governor when he ran (before he went, Democrat.) As for this year's General, I really wish that Kasich had made it. He was the best of the bunch. So since I'm a Democrat, I do have some liberal ideals...

Abortion: I am Pro-Choice. Not because I believe in abortion - I don't. But because I don't think society, and especially a group of men should interfere with a woman's right to do what she thinks is best. I also think that the attack on Planned Parenthood is a bunch of BS. The government can't fund abortions, so when Republican lawmakers want to defund Planned Parenthood, they are defunding the low-cost care that women and men can get at the clinics. Cancer screenings, pap smears, STD treatment, birth control, pre-abortion counseling before, family planning, adoption referral, wellness exams...they are all provided by Planned Parenthood. If the facility has the option of abortion, the woman has to pay for it.

Gun control: Yes, I believe in the 2nd Amendment. No, I don't think your guns should be taken away. Yes, I am frightened of them. Yes, I believe that you don't need submachine guns and semi-They have no use in protecting your house or hunting. YES, I believe in more comprehensive background checks. This includes criminal background checks, history of domestic violence,  or mental illness, and a psychological examination. There should be mandatory classes and licenses issued after practical and written exams (like when you get your driver's license.) And carry insurance. Loopholes should be closed. And yes, I realize that this will not stop criminals from getting a hold of guns or gun violence, but I would like to think that if this was implemented, maybe some of the mass shootings wouldn't have happened.

I feel strongly about the Constitution as well. Especially the 1st Amendment. I may not like what you have to say, but you have the right. You also have to be responsible for the consequences of what you say. Just as I have too. And I'm a real stickler for Separation of Church and State. Our Founders wanted to make this a country with no national religion. They had good examples to look on in the 18th century. Just look at what happened with King Henry the VIII and the Church of England. Some of the first people to come over here were basically forced out of their home countries. Puritans, Huguenots, Jews, and other religions all came here to practice their religion freely. Thomas Jefferson had a Qur'an even. They knew that if this country declared Christianity as a state religion, that it would doom us. So, no, you can't have religion in public school. If you don't like that, you can homeschool your kid or enroll him in a parochial school. If right Christian extremists insist on having Christianity in public schools, then every other religion has a right to be there too. That includes the Satanic Temple, The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Islam, Jews, Hindu, Buddhism, etc. This also applies to any Christian display on public land. Schools, unless they are parochial, have enough on their plate with teaching our children, they don't need the extra burden of teaching Christian tenets. Religion or no religion should be taught at home. That is where a kid gets his moral compass from.

Now on to pleasant stuff! I LOVE to read. My all time favorite is "To Kill A Mockingbird." I'm also a Harry Potter geek, a Lord of the Rings geek, and a Chronicles of Narnia geek, and a Twilight geek. I love historical fiction (Edward Rutherfurd, Leon Uris, and James Michener especially,) and anything by Anne Rice. And I love Young Readers books on vampires, witches, etc. I read a lot of nonfiction as well. Anything that gets my attention, I usually read a book on it. That includes religion, politics, history, how something works, etc. I'm not really into poems, but I do love Edgar Allan Poe. And the goth books..."Dracula," "Frankenstein," "Jekyll and Hyde." I can thank my Mom for this. She read to us when we were little, and always encouraged us as we grew up. It was a gift!

I am a BIG history geek. I haven't come across a time I wasn't interested in. I love Jewish history (though it isn't a pleasant history, to say the least,) religious (any religion,) Civil War (specifically Abraham Lincoln,) the Tudor Dynasty, medieval, ancient times, especially Egyptian, American Revolution and the different presidents. Again, I will read/watch anything I find interesting.

 I love to write (noo, really?) Mostly I journal. There's nothing like getting your aggression out than calling everything and everyone every name in the book. I goof around with poems...I make up "Roses are Red..." poems, and put together tongue-tying rhymes. I started this blog so I could write, however, it took awhile to really use it. I used to write articles for my reptile group, and I'm sure I will again. Right now I'm on sabbatical from writing. I hope to write a story sometime soon. My Step-Grandma used to tell me to write a book. Everytime I saw her, "Write a book!!" I just don't know quite how. Character structure, plot, etc. It all goes over my head. 

MUSIC...I know this is far down here. But seriously, I can't live without it. My absolute favorite band is Bon Jovi, but I love so many different bands, too many to name. When I was in my 20's, I followed the rock bands Slaughter and Firehouse. It was amazing. My friends and I followed the bus, got a discount at the hotels, got into the shows, and got to hang out. It was so much fun, and it is something I miss. The guys were so cool with us being there and I learned a lot about the industry. Sometimes we helped sell merchandise or took them out of errands. The best thing about it is that some of my closest friends I met through music, concerts, etc. For me, music not only calms me, but it has gotten me through some of the roughest moments of my life.

I also love photography, especially at concerts. I think I mostly see the show through my camera lens. But I also love to take pictures of animals, nature, old cemeteries (I once found a Confederate grave,) my friends, my Mom, family, and anything that catches my fancy. Up until two years ago, I didn't have a smartphone. I don't take many selfies (still can't figure out where to look when taking one,) but it's cool to take pictures outside. We live out in the country, there is always something to take a picture of.

I LOVE ANIMALS!!! Mom has always maintained that from the time I learned to walk, I started chasing ducks. When I was three, we got our first cat. I've had hamsters, hermit crabs, and fish. I currently have four cats, 2 snakes, and 1 lizard. If I had my way, there'd be a whole lot more here. Up in Illinois, I worked for a vet for four years. I loved that job, except, of course, when we had to put an animal down. I also did dog-sitting for a few months. I loved doing that because it was fun to go in and get greeted by adorable dogs. I can't go by a dog without asking to pet it. I have no problem in picking up dogs that are running on the road. One time, we ended up with a blind German shepherd overnight. He had busted out of his collar. He was reunited with his family the next day. Otherwise, I was going to rally hard on keeping him. I will stop to help any animal on the road, much to my Mom's dismay. I love watching videos and seeing pictures. I can't imagine living without my critters, and I will never give them up. I made a promise with them when I brought them home...that they will be loved and taken care of for the rest of their lives.  

Now some random things. I love the color purple, in case you didn't notice. I have a wacky sense of humor and can be sarcastic. I lean more on the artistic side, but I'm also extremely analytical. I notice mini scale things, and if I watch a show over and over (marathon reruns!) I will notice things that don't fit, or mistakes, like objects being moved. Speaking of which, I still don't understand how the "genius" Dr. Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds can mispronounce "Samhain" so badly!! I have a horrible sense of direction. I'm serious...it's bad. Don't give me directions and say north, south, east, west...I need landmarks, exit numbers, etc. I even screw up going to places I go to all the time...or go sailing past our house. Though I'm pretty sure I can find that really cool Mexican restaurant in St. Augustine.  I am left-handed (only 10% of the population is) and I have green eyes (only 2%,) so I am rare!! I'm a Pisces and I love to swim. I want to come back to earth with enough money to have a pool. I have picked up some of my Grandpa's more "endearing" qualities. I have a habit of yelling obscenities at the TV, my stubbornness, but also my creative side. 

I have to keep myself  away from jewelry sections and pens. The pens are more recent, however. I took up coloring at the beginning of the year.   
I think this is enough for now. I hope you aren't asleep right now. This got wordier than I thought it would. 

Double Standards and Creepy Heterosexual Dudes

I found this I found this on Facebook yesterday, and it's everything that was in my mind that I couldn't express. Thank you Kasey Rose-Hodge for writing this. It is brilliant, and it is very thought provoking.

"Dear creepy heterosexual men guarding our bathrooms,

My entire life, I've been told to fear you in one way or another. I've been told to cover my body as to not distract you in school, to cover my body to help avoid unwanted advances or comments, to cover my body as to not tempt you to sexually assault me, to reject your unwanted advances politely as to not anger you. I've been taught to never walk alone at night, to hold my keys in my fist while walking in parking lots, to check the backseat of my car, to not drink too much because you might take advantage of me. I've been told what I should and shouldn't do with my body as to not jeopardize my relationships with you.

I've been warned not to emasculate you, to let "boys be boys", to protect your fragile ego and to not tread on your even more fragile masculinity. I've been taught to keep my emotions in check, to let you be the unit of measure for how much emotion is appropriate and to adjust my emotions accordingly. I've been taught that you're allowed to categorize women into mothers/sisters/girlfriends/wives/daughters but any woman outside of your protected categories is fair game.

So to those of you who think you're being helpful by "protecting" me and my fellow women, you're like a shark sitting in the Lifeguard chair. I wasn't uncomfortable until you showed up at the pool and the only potential predator I see is you.

Your mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives and daughters don't need you to walk them to the bathroom for safety. Your fathers, brothers, friends and sons need to walk themselves away from their own double standards. Women are sexually harassed and sexually assaulted on school campuses, on the street, at their jobs, on the Internet, in their own homes, in ANY public place. And it has been excused or ignored for so long because of what you and I are taught from the first years of our interactions with each other: You, as a male, are not accountable for your own actions. It's MY responsibility, as a female, to not "provoke" you. But then you get to Knight-In-Shining-Armor your way through life for those in your protected categories and I am expected to applaud you. Why the outrage now over bathrooms? Why aren't you outraged every single day?

If you're telling me that there are high volumes of boys and men out there, in schools or in general, who are just waiting for a "loop hole" to sexually assault girls and women, we have bigger problems on our hands than bathrooms. The first problem would be your apparent lack of knowledge of how often it happens OUTSIDE of bathrooms, with no "loop holes" needed. This isn't about Transgender bathroom access. This is about you not trusting the boys and men in your communities and/or fearing that they're all secretly predators. Why do you have this fear? How many fathers have panicked when their daughters started dating because they "know how teenaged boys can be because they used to be one"? How many times have girls been warned "boys are only after one thing"? A mother can bring her young son into the women's restroom and that's fine but a father bringing his young daughter into the men's restroom is disturbing because men are assumed to be predators and "little girls" shouldn't be exposed to that.

So instead of picking up your sword and heading to Target or the girls' locker room to defend our "rights", why don't you start somewhere that could actually make a difference? Challenge your children's schools to end sexist dress codes and dress codes that sexualize girls as young as age 5. Advocate for proper (or any) sex education classes in all public schools by a certain grade level. Focus more on teaching your sons not to rape vs teaching your daughters how to avoid being raped. Stop asking "How would you feel if that was your mother or sister?" It shouldn't take the comparison to clue you in to what's right or wrong. Question why you're more worried about your daughter being around men than your son being around women in bathrooms and dressing rooms. Stop walking by Victoria's Secret with no problem but covering your son's eyes if a woman is breastfeeding in public. Stop treating your daughter's body as some fortress you're sworn to protect as if that's all she's got to offer the world". - Kasey Rose-Hodge

Prince's Death.

On April 21, 2016, a true musical icon passed away. 

In the days that followed, there were many posts on Facebook that were something like "Prince Dies And Everyone is Mourning. (___) many (____) die a day and no one pays attention." 

There's a reason why that is. Every death matters, even those that have no one to mourn for them. But when a person dies, it affects their circle - family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and possibly the public in the area where that person died. When a celebrity dies, it not only affects those people, but it affects their fans as well. It automatically triggers memories, and takes us back to where we first heard that song, saw that movie, etc. Celebrities imprint us and share their talent and it is something that we will never forget. Of course, you feel that when you are dealing with the death of someone close to you who passes away, however, a celebrity's death becomes public

When Prince died, I was needless to say, upset. I only had maybe four of his albums back in my early teens.  But he was very much a part of my life. The parts of my childhood that I remember fondly. "Purple Rain" was my first "R" rated movie. And I was totally in love with him. He is probably why you are reading this in purple text right now. How many celebrities own a color?? I remember summer days listening to "Purple Rain", and when "Raspberry Beret" came out. And, of course, "1999." In my early teen mind, back in those days, I had no idea what some of the lyrics meant, I just knew I loved his music. When I moved onto the heavier stuff, I would only listen to the heavier stuff, but Prince passed the "This guy is too cool to stop listening too." test. In fact, when I was following Slaughter, we were in Minneapolis and the Target Center was across the street from "First Avenue" - the club that was featured in the movie. I believe somewhere I have pictures. I remember being in awe of seeing it. In 1999, on New Year's Eve, guess what I was playing? Yup - "2000 zero zero; Party Over; Oops, out of time; Tonight we're going to party like it's 1999." I remember thinking that it was hard to believe it was the end of 1999, and that when the song came out, I never believed I would be around to see 1999 come around.

I knew Prince was talented. After all, I listened to him, right?  I knew he played all the instruments, composed, and produced all his music. I never understood how much talent that was until he passed. It never crossed my mind in my 14-year old brain. I was shocked the night he passed. MSNBC cancelled a regular political show to air a show on him. There were shows everywhere. Saturday Night Live dedicated a show even. I heard of all of his talents, his intelligence, his quest to own his own music and his battle with Warner Brothers. He wrote not only music for himself, but for other artists as well. He also helped his friends from Minnesota. In the movie "Purple Rain" there are 3 main bands performing...The Revolution, The Time and Apollonia 6. Prince did not include the other bands on the soundtrack. Instead, they released their own albums with the songs from the movie on them. I can only assume that this was done because The Time and Apollonia 6 would get more money and more exposure by having their own independent releases. It worked for me. I had to have those two other albums, and I loved listening to them. I even remember calling the record store and asking if they had The Time, and the guy gave me the time. 

He had an amazing ability to create the perfect image. He dripped of sexuality, yet lyrics left his sexuality ambiguous. He knew what to do to cause controversy, and of course, controversy sells. He didn't care what people thought of him. He not only pushed boundaries, he broke them. There was a meme on Facebook that had a picture of him that said that he was the only guy wearing make-up and high heels that could steal a guy's girlfriend, and it's true. He always left us wanting more. Toure, author of "I Would Die For You. Why Prince Became an Icon" said that Michael Jackson was the "good" one to like, and Prince was the "bad" one. But they both were unspeakably talented. 

Does anyone remember the PMRC's "Filthy Fifteen?" His song, "Darling Nikki" (rightfully so) was number 1 on the list. I'm sure he was quite proud of that achievement. It should also be noted that Vanity, Prince's girlfriend/protege was also on that list. After that fiasco, there were a lot of bands and/or record companies that would change album covers, or lyrics so that they wouldn't get that warning sticker. Prince just kept on releasing material, despite them, and continued pushing that boundary that they had set. He stood up for his beliefs, and his work. 

It is interesting, for all the boundaries he pushed, he himself came off as being shy and was very private. It came out after he passed that he was quite a philanthropist. He also loved his fans. I've never heard of other artists having parties at what was essentially his home at Paisley Park. He had one a few days before his passing. I heard that these parties had rules too - no alcohol, drugs, or swearing, and definitely no cell phone pictures.

I guess this is my tribute to him. It's something I felt I had to write, and it might be a bit rambling. I think this can only be the proper ending to this piece...

"Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you
There's something else
The after world

A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
You know the one, Dr. Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

'Cause in this life
Things are much harder than in the after world
In this life
You're on your own

And if the elevator tries to bring you down
Go crazy, punch a higher floor4"

Goodbye Prince. Thanks for sharing your talent and for all of the memories. I hope that the doves are singing joyously for you up in heaven.