I was reading through what I wrote in March about what I was going through, and I thought I would write an update.
And that update is going well. I wrote out some goals for myself in March. I am going to the YMCA twice a week, but tomorrow will begin three times a week. I love the class, the other women in it, and especially the instructor. It is more difficult than I thought it would be. While it is low impact, the water causes more resistance. After a good workout, I hop into a swimming lane and leisurely swim laps for a couple of hours...usually the backstroke. Afterward, I take a shower (can't stand the chlorine on me and I use a shampoo that takes the chlorine out of my hair.) and I go home. The thing that surprises me the most about going is that I love going. It has become a happy and safe place for me. And it is where I go to relieve stress. The reason I decided to increase it to Friday mornings (though there is no class, I can still use the YMCA's aquatic exercise equipment) was because I would become more irritated from Thursday to Sunday because I wasn't going. Now my more pressing issue is to find nose clips that won't slip off of my nose. I have a feeling that part of the problem is my smallish nose.
I am getting up relatively early these days. My psychiatrist put me on Adderall to help with the staying up thing. However, I am still getting exhausted in the morning, so I have allowed myself to sleep for a couple of hours before 1:00 pm when I have to take my second dose of Adderall. I still go to bed at really late hours, unless I swam that day. Then I am dog-tired. And I find when I go to sleep, I fall asleep right away.
I've been doing more writing, especially on my blog. And I have some stuff to work on. I have found that I love to rhyme. Not like in poetry, but in the extreme. The goal is to have as little words that don't rhyme that I can have. I have taken some words, and used a rhyming site online and gotten words that rhyme with it. I plan on writing out a piece, using as many of those words as I can.
I'm still coloring. But not as obsessively as before. It still is a very calming factor where I am able to use my skills when I'm not in a crisis. Now if only I didn't need to buy every gel pen, Sharpie, marker, or colored pencil out there. Actually, I don't want to buy everything...I want the best. Where the markers are over $400 and the colored pencils over $250...but that ain't going to happen. I will just have to make do with what I have.
My therapy appointments are now once a month. More of a maintenance role.
That doesn't mean that I haven't had bumps because I've had. A long lost cousin of my Mom's became friends on Facebook. She is a huge Trump supporter, so after clashing, we all decided to not comment on political posts...something which she didn't honor. And then she made a post comparing a certain group as to being mentally ill. I don't care who she compared that group too...except for the mentally ill. So I set about to educate her. She got rude and unfriend both Mom and I. All because I was trying to point out to her how that kind of stigma affects us.
Of course, the Orlando shootings were very upsetting, more so because I have friends that were directly connected to the shooting. And it bothers me that I have no way to wave a magic wand and make their pain go away. Before the Orlando shooting, another friend lost her brother to a spree killer. Though I haven't seen him in over 20 years, I too knew him, and it hit me really hard.
And finally, I misplaced my iPod...over a week ago, and it is very upsetting. My whole music catalog is on it and every logical place we have looked has turned up nothing. Every illogical place we've looked hasn't turned up anything either. But honestly, I didn't expect to find it in the freezer. And being separated from my music has also made me irate.
That is about all. I'm happy to be here, and happy to have my family and my friends.
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