Charlottesville and Beyond

A Tribute To Heather Heyer Where She Lost Her Life

Troopers Cullen and Bates Lost Their Lives When Their Helicopter Crashed

I have written and rewritten this blog since the day it happened, but I can't seem to say the write the words I want to say. And that's very unusual since the best way I can express myself. I do know that before I get into everything, I want to remember the forgotten in this story. Heather Heyer, who died at the hands a racist so hateful that he took his car and rammed it into innocent counter-protesters. She was there because she believed in and wanted equality for all. She was there to provide a light in the midst of all the hate that was there that day.

  

Heather Heyer's Mother Holds a Picture of her Daughter

Two more men died that day too, and they are mentioned hardly at all. State Troopers H. Jay Cullen and Berke M.M. Bates were patrolling Charlottesville in a helicopter, being the eyes in the sky for the officers on the ground. Their helicopter developed mechanical problems and they lost their lives when it crashed to the ground. They died on impact. Who knows if they would've been in the air if it weren't for the rally and all the hate that was there.

The badges and wings for State Troopers H Jay Cullen and Berke MM Bates

I want to take the time to thank the peaceful protesters. Thank them for standing up to hate, probably not with love...that's hard and idealistic to the point where it sounds incredibly stupid. But they stood up to hate none the less, without lowering themselves to the baseless hate and violence that was all around them. 

Sung by peaceful counter-protesters in Charlottesville.

They understand that hate and violence go hand and hand, and if they gave into committing violence, they would be no better than the hate groups that were there. Fighting fire with fire is not the best way. Killing a KKK member in retribution for Heather Heyer's death does not make the situation better, and it doesn't bring Heather back. And it doesn't end hate, it just increases it on both sides.

A Memorial in Charlottesville after the rally

Trump's reaction proves just what a horrible, vile man he is. He hedged in two statements in actually naming the hate groups that were there. Finally, in a third, sticking strictly to the teleprompter, he named them. By then, it was a little too late. We look to our leaders for comfort and leadership. A day or two later, at a press conference that was on infrastructure, where there were going to be no questions taken, and he answered questions. He was angry, belligerent, and went back on saying that there were many sides and that the counter-protesters, including Heather Heyer, were as much to blame, basically. Comfort and leadership were found with his Alt-Right following that day.

I think he's right on one count...violence did happen on both sides. Antifa was there also counter-protesting, and yes, they believe that violence is perfectly acceptable. I go into depth down below. I don't know how much violence they are responsible for, but they were are a factor that must be considered.

But there are no good people in hate groups. I have never known a person that was good that participated in hate that strong. Hate is literally and figuratively a four letter word. If I had a child, I would rather that they say "fuck" rather than learn the word "hate." It's

Charlottesville

evil, vile, and should never be used in the context of another person. Hating an object is fine. I hate seafood. Hating to see something happen is fine. I hate seeing animal abuse. I hate seeing loved ones in pain. Hating another person is coming from deep darkness. It's a powerful word and capable of doing great harm.


After Trump's first statement, Susan Bro, Heather Heyer's mother, issued a statement where she thanked him for his support and for denouncing the hatred. In that infamous press conference, he said he really appreciated her kind words and then went on to say that both sides were responsible, equating Heather Heyer, her life, her beliefs, and her death with those that were there to do harm. 

Hearing this, Ms. Bro stated that though the president's staff was trying to get a hold of her, they hadn't yet gotten through (maybe because they were calling during her daughter's funeral????) but after hearing his words, she would not answer a call or meet the president. She wanted nothing to do with him.

Last night he did a rally in Phoenix. For his re-election in 2020. He went on a long rant on how the media is responsible for what happened in Charlottesville and how he was misrepresented. Everyone was against him, therefore the media is lying, and he's the victim of the whole thing. Not Heather Heyer, State Troopers Cullen and Bates, and all the people that were injured on that black day in Charlottesville. Honestly, I think he has not a drop of humanity in his blood. 

Does he know that the hate groups that evoked his name on that Saturday would be the first ones that would throw his daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren on a train to a death camp? His support of these groups is him giving them a helping hand in the train car. All one has to do is listen to The Vice Documentary that features Christopher Cantwell, who was supposed to be a speaker at the rally, criticize Trump for "giving his daughter to a Jew." 

White Supremacist Torch Bearing March.
August 11, 2017, Charlottesville.

I recommend skipping that video. Instead, watch the video that Cantwell posted sobbing because he thought that there was a warrant out for his arrest. Coward.

So how did this come about? Well, it wasn't because Charlottesville voted to take down a statue of Robert E. Lee and rename the park it was in. That was just the excuse used for having a rally. They were prepared to be violent against were mostly peaceful counter-protesters. 

Trump is not directly responsible, I'm afraid. It's actually much worse.

What Trump did was he encouraged hate groups to come out of their burrows because of his own racist views - which were clearly evident during his campaign. And out they came, in all their hate and glory, under a new name: "The Alt-Right." An ideology, coined by Richard Spencer in 2008, that basically believes that white identity is under attack from multicultural forces that use political correctness and social justice. They embrace ethno-nationalism as a fundamental value and operate really well on social media and making memes (think Infowars and Breitbart.) And the media, in order to be "partial," films them as they are going through their

protests of hate. Especially Christopher Cantwell. Mr. Cantwell also showed what a coward he was by releasing a video where he thought the police were after him and he was crying. There's covering hate groups and ideologies and covering people in those groups involved. That hate should not be front and center in mainstream media and I think there is was a line that was crossed with that documentary. There's nothing they like better than to get that kind of attention. It's free PR.

There is one brave man in this picture.
 The rest are hateful cowards

On the other hand, not enough has been said AT ALL about the "Antifa" or Antifascist Groups. Trump was probably referring to them when he said the "Alt-Left." They're actually referred to as the "Hard Left," and should share the same spot on being a violent hate group as well.  

Mostly made up of people who lean towards the anarchist movement, Antifas technically stands against any forms of hate. 

They believe that speech should be limited, therefore they ask for "safe spaces" where differing issues, such as ideology, or anything they consider controversial is not spoken of. I'm sure this makes it difficult for professors teaching certain subjects like Ethics to talk about controversial subjects. And it stamps on the students' right to have that subject taught to them in the manner it is supposed to be taught. 

Antifas was behind the whole mess at Berkeley UC, where

If Antifa believes words are violent, then what is this?
There is NEVER an excuse to write this - about anyone.

vandalism and violence were committed and fires started in response to Breitbart Editor Milo Yiannopoulos, who had to be rushed away when the protesters started throwing rocks. The campus had to be locked down. Protest Organizer Yvette Felcara claimed it was self-defense. And she wasn't referring to protesters being physically assaulted at that particular moment. She was referring to the talk Mr. Yiannopoulos was to give. They were protecting themselves from his words and opinions and saw those words and opinions as actual acts of violence. They then can justify any acts of violence they commit as "self-defense." It was the same thing when Ann Coulter was scheduled to talk.

Antifa member vandalizes window in Berkeley, CA

When the Antifa plan to participate in a protest, they view it as something to stop. They are "defending" America by blocking people from speaking anything the Antifa disagree with. And they do it with violence. As mentioned above, they believe that any talk about something they disagree with is an actual act of violence and must be defended in the most forceful way possible; with violence. 

Just like the hate groups in Charlottesville, they came armed to the teeth. And all it would take for an Antifa member to attack is to say something hateful and disgusting. Violence is wrong, no matter what the circumstances, and it time to hold Antifa accountable for their actions.

I really, really dislike Trump, what he stands for, and I absolutely despise any group that stands for hate, but I also really love our Constitution. People have a right to speak on college campuses and the students who want to see them have the right to do exactly that without worry of violence breaking out. I also believe that people, and that includes college students, have the right to self-expression

Should Antifa be considered a terrorist group?

without having to stop and think about if what they are about to say will go against "the safe place." Professors have a duty to educate students to the standards expected and not disadvantage them by leaving out certain curriculum. That is all free speech and guaranteed under the First Amendment. The only time it isn't protected is if actual threats are being made, or there is violence. Threatening bodily harm is illegal. Speaking about your philosophy and ideology is not. If someone dislikes what is being discussed, they can leave and go to their own personal "safe place." I've done it many times because I don't expect the world to change so that it so I, and only I, feel safe and sheltered with no consideration for how many people around me are feeling stifled and unhappy.

Consider the environment of college campuses also. It throws a bunch of kids together and teaches them diversity. Kids are on their own for the first time and they have to learn to accept opinions and

compromise. Their eyes are opened to the world and how they and their classmates fit in it. Ideas come out of that kind of environment.
Awareness of others in different situations come out of that. Social awareness that leads to movements such as civil rights, LGTBQ rights, voter's rights, women's rights and so much more. This is the time where they are paying more attention to the world of politics because they can participate for the first time. They are finding themselves and setting themselves on their life paths. Diversity is essential for that environment to flourish. Stifling people from freely speaking actually takes away diversity and separates people into factions based on politics, religion, etc. Without free speech, they won't know where they stand on issues because issues cannot be freely discussed. 

The First Amendment also guarantees the right to peacefully

Violence between racists and Antifa, Charlottesville.

assemble. And if there are people who disagree with that protest, they have the right to peacefully counter-protest. I know, when the word "peaceful" is said, images of the beach, a lake, or clouds come to my mind. Peaceful protest is to scream, yell, insult, hold signs, chant - all without violence. If a deplorable, despicable, disgusting white supremacist group legally and peacefully held a rally, they have that right. I have the right to not like it. 

I don't have the right to make them stop, though. And neither does Antifa. But that is why they are there. And if they're breaking windows, setting fires, throwing rocks and bottles filled with urine, beating someone up with a bat, punching Richard Spencer on TV, it is more likely that the authorities will shut it down. 

Yes, a hate group protest was stopped, so Antifa has to be on the right side, right? No. They have attacked people coming out of Trump rallies. They are basically anti-government, so attacking police isn't a problem either. Then there is this...they take action, often violent, against groups they disagree with. What if that group was the jury, judge, or attorneys that are to hear the trial of one of their colleagues charged with acts of felony violence? What if they mistakenly choose you?  Hate and violence are NEVER on the right side. They might as well cross over and ask the hate groups on the right if they can join them because there is no difference.

Bottomline, everything they do and everything they believe in is completely against America's ideals and values. They promote the restriction of speech, the right to free thought, the right to everything we take for granted. When Trump attacks the press everyone goes up in arms. However, just because he says it doesn't mean the press is being suppressed. The Antifa actually does suppress the First Amendment. Actually, what they do is straight out of the "How to Start a Dictatorship" manual. Suppression of free speech and expression, often by violent means, is one of the first things that is taken away. It was what Hitler did. It was what Mussolini did. And they were Fascists and shared the views of the groups the Antifa are against.

A quote, often attributed to Winston Churchill (he never said it) says that "Anti-Fascists are future Fascists." I could not agree more. 

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Betrayal

Everyone has been betrayed. In writing this, I looked for a long time online to get a practical definition. I didn't find any that came close to what it actually feels like. So I fell back on literature - my old standby. 
I chose Dante's Devine Comedy. The imagery of the betrayers in the ninth circle of Hell made perfect sense to me. 

In Dante's Devine Comedy, the final and ninth circle of Hell was reserved for Satan...and betrayers; those that betrayed a person with whom they had a special relationship with. In that Circle, betrayers were in a lake of ice, in four distinct circles. With their betrayal, they denied others love, and love is God. Because of that, they are the furthest from Him and all human warmth. Only the remorseless deserve to suffer in the ice, far away from the light of love they turned against. Even if they tried to justify their actions by human reasoning, they made the choice to betray, and in doing so, contorted the love in their hearts so grotesquely that it ruined their relationship with God.

The four circles (or rounds) in Cocytus - where the lake of ice is, represents four distinct acts of betrayal. The first round is Caina, after Cain, who betrayed his brother Abel when he murdered him. This round houses betrayers to their kindred and their heads are out of the ice and they can bend them in some protection from the freezing wind.  The second round is called Antenora, who as a Trojan soldier, betrayed his city to the Greeks. In this round lives those that betrayed their country by committing the act of treason. Their heads are also above the ice, but they can't turn their heads against the wind. Ptolomaea is the third circle, named after Ptolemy who invited his father-in-law Simon Maccabaeus to dinner and murdered him. Traitors to their guests lie in the ice with their tears freezing in their eye sockets, sealing them in a visor of crystal. Judecca is the fourth round. Named after Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus. This final round's residents are suspended in ice in painful contorted positions, unable to make a sound.

Sharing the lake of ice, waist deep and suffering, is the ultimate betrayer - Satan. In Dante's Devine Comedy, Lucifer has three faces, all of which are crying with blood and pus. And each mouth is chewing for an eternity on a prominent betrayer: Marcus Junius Brutus and Gaius Cassius Longindus (who were responsible for the assassination of  Julius Caesar) dangled from the right and left mouths. The center mouth - and the worst - is reserved for Judas Iscariot. For an eternity, Judas will have his head gnawed on and his back shredded. Having been an angel, Satan still retains his wings, and it is from their flapping that produces the cold winds throughout Cocytus. 

Consequently, violence (the seventh circle) and fraud (the eighth circle) are above treachery. I can only guess, but maybe Dante's thinking was that violence and fraud are tangible crimes? Violence leaves victims, but the perpetrators usually have motives, even if we don't know what they are. A house that is burglarized has things missing from it. With betrayal, a person makes a decision to severely hurt and incapacitate emotionally someone that they once cared about. The people who they hurt are left not only dealing with the pain of a sudden loss, but they also have to deal with the fact that a trust was violated. And that can make them question the trust they have placed in everyone else.

Every relationship is built on trust, feelings, respect, care, compassion, laughter, and love. All of these feelings are ripped from away at one time. It leaves behind confusion, shock, extreme pain, and anger. 

According to Monica A. Frank Ph.d., betrayal is probably the most devastating loss a person can go through. There can be no such thing as betrayal unless there's love there to begin with. The trust that is built is violated. When trust is built up and then violated, it leaves people reeling. It changes our perception of them - and everyone else.

And unlike an illness or a death, a person made a hurtful, deliberate, and careless choice to treat people that way. And mostly, the situations could've been handled differently and shouldn't have lead to where it did.

Dr. Frank also states that a betrayal is a loss and needs to be worked, and as with any loss, will go through the stages of grief.  And really, it makes sense. A betrayal leaves a person with overwhelming emotions so intense that they don't make sense. Working through the stages is essential. And it is important that during the healing process, write grief letters, angry letters, sad letters. Pretend that a letter is being written to the betrayer, and say everything you want to tell them in person. Just don't send it. It's very important that these emotions are acknowledged and that they are perfectly normal.

And unfortunately, this is something that everybody goes through. 

I'm sure that you have figured out that I'm not just writing about betrayal because I thought it would be a peppy blog. I had this happen to me last month. I've known this person for almost as long as we've been in Florida, and I was a part of something that was amazing. And now it's gone. Because of a perceived misunderstanding. I trusted this person implicitly. When I was hospitalized in 2005, the person drove up, picked up my Mom (who couldn't drive because of a broken ankle,) and came out to see me. I don't think I ever told the person how much that really meant to me. But it doesn't matter now then, does it?
  

After the initial shock, I began wondering if we were ever really friends. Then I began wondering if any of my other friends felt the same as this person did? It made me question myself. Is there something wrong with me? Am I the person that this person is saying I am? God, I must be a horrible person. And I thought all this obsessively. No matter what I was doing, those thoughts were always there.

I looked back on the situation, and yes, there is something I could've done - kept my mouth shut. Otherwise, I think I handled it true to who I am as a person, and what was best for me. 

Finally, I joined a highly recommended bipolar Facebook page and asked what other people did when this happened. You see, I've been betrayed before, but I have never been betrayed to the point where the person used the exact same symptoms that I have with bipolar. This person took something that I had shared with them, in confidence, and blamed me because of it. And, unlike other illnesses, evoking a mental illness is always used in a negative way.

And that made me question what others think of me in regards to my illness. I am open about bipolar because it is something I feel people should know. But society actually shames people suffering from a mental illness. Sometimes I question whether I should say anything out of fear. Usually, my attitude is if they can't accept me, so be it.  It is wholly different when the negative stigma comes from someone I trusted. It was a kick in the gut that sent me into the stratosphere.

I needed a plan, goals to work through to keep myself from falling into that dark pit that I've frought so very hard to not only emerge but move away from. I hunkered down and forced myself to go to the YMCA (I had missed a couple of days) and I was doing really good with not thinking about it. But this person, in pure hubris, sent a "communication" almost a month after the initial incident. I replied to it three times. The first two will never get mailed. The third is the correct response. I hope I'm done with this situation. It should never have happened...it literally was that stupid. And this latest thing is so really, really ridiculous that after being upset for a few hours, I actually saw the humor in it.

How has it changed me? I'm hoping that it didn't affect me much, actually. Of course, this person pops up in my mind sometimes and I still feel anger, but I don't dwell on it.

I can't control how this person feels. As far as our friendship goes, I have no regrets. I don't think time spent with this person was wasted time. I had a great friend for 13 years. I don't know what happened about that, but so be it.

I have taken responsibility for my part. I have asked that person for forgiveness. I have asked God for forgiveness. I am almost at a place where I can forgive this person, even. Make no mistake, I don't want the person in my life ever again. I have other friends that I know I can count on. I have been blessed with friends that I have had for years and years. But to forgive? Yes, I think I can do that. Forgiveness is a process of grief. I have to learn to forgive in order to allow myself to open myself up again. I want to compliment strangers and strike up conversations. I want to be me, and I won't let anyone take that from me. I hope that I will never allow myself to be treated like this again. I doubt it, but there is always hope!!