Let's Hope It's a Good One, Without Any Fear

I bet you thought I gave my year in review for Christmas, didn't you? My dear readers, there is no such thing as getting off that easy! My first musing is about how everyone says that a year is bad and thank God it's over and the new one is starting. Technically, yes, but New Year's Day does not wipe the slate clean. New Year's Day is just another day, and things haven't really changed. The problems before New Year's Day are the same after. But since I try to find a silver lining in everything, New Year's Eve is an awesome reason to drink - a lot - and New Year's Day is the perfect time to get over that hangover!!

I stopped doing resolutions a long time ago. I do look back and look at what's happened in the past year, so I'm aware of how far I've come and how far back I moved. For me, though, placing huge resolutions or goals for the next year is too much to handle. I make small goals for myself everyday. From getting up to go the YMCA to what needs to be done with the reptiles, to how long I will be on the computer (I always break that one,) I make it just a couple days ahead, or have it as part of my schedule.

Despite my pessimistic views about changing the year with the stroke of the small hand on a clock, 2017 is saying goodbye and that's always a cause for retrospective thought. Personally, it wasn't a bad year, but not great either. I saw Foreigner in what was a really fun St. Augustine trip, where I also had my photo taken with a 12 ft. bull alligator named Fluffy at St. Augustine Alligator Farm. I saw Firehouse and my concert going buddies in October and went to Ft. Myers with a friend. It was to see Firehouse, but they couldn't all get in because of a bad winter storm. Faux Firehouse in Fort Myers? And my holidays, both last year and this one, were spent with family. We survived Hurricane Irma with no damage and had an angel take us in, cats, snakes, and lizards all. I've rediscovered my history geek by walking around old cemeteries. I consider myself blessed right now in my life, and that is always a take away every year.

On the other hand, it seemed like there was one thing after another as far as things breaking or going wrong. When we think we can maybe catch up, we can't. I discovered the price I have to pay for standing up for my principals and what is right. I just never dreamed that who I thought were close friends would betray me like they did and that it would end a chapter in my life that was open 13 years and that I didn't want to close when I took that stand. (Silver lining moment: I also found out who were my friends and I cherish them more than they can even guess.) And the big ugly "c" word struck our family. My cousin's son, who we babysat a lot when he was young, was found to have brain cancer. He has the best case scenario and is undergoing treatment and has the best doctors. And he is on the top of a lot of prayer lists. Though the outcome looks as good as it can, it's also uncertain and I worry. I can't imagine what it's like for him and his wife. 

A lot of the perception I had of being in a line of dominoes falling are catastrophic events around the country, and the world. Between August 17th and September 16th, six hurricanes formed on the heel of another - Harvey, Irma, Jose, Katia, Lee, and Maria. Harvey was a Category 4 that dumped four feet of water in Houston and other coastal towns before it went back out in the Gulf, strengthened to a tropical storm and visited Louisiana. Hurricane Irma made landfall as a Category 4 in the Florida Keys and a 3 in Marco Island, FL. It was one of the strongest storms on record and made a record when it kept sustained winds at 185 mph for 37 straight hours. Maria followed same path, except it didn't come to Florida. However, it missed Florida and hit the Caribbean islands - including Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands...who were already reeling from Irma. They still don't have power or clean drinking water and any relief that was sent was a joke. Topped by Trump throwing paper towels into the crowd by doing a jump shot. 

Between Irma and Maria was Hurricane Jose, another Category 4, that looked like it wanted to follow Irma. Fortunately, it didn't make landfall, but was close enough to cause rain and high waves in the Northeast. Also between our "girls" were Hurricane Katia, a Category 1 that made landfall in Mexico, and Hurricane Lee, who barely made Category 1 and stayed out to sea.

And there is nothing quite so disconcerting as waiting for dangerous and deadly storms to hit, or not hit, or to weaken, or to strengthen for days ahead of time.

And then there's Trump. The man isn't fit to be a person, much less president of the most powerful western country. It's routinely thought that he is stupid. Our biggest mistake would be to underestimate him. We did it before and look what we ended up with. Another mistake is to call him mentally ill. His behaviors are learned and therefore falls out of the criteria for a mental illness. He is an extreme narcissist and pathological liar. And both can also be explained by growing up a rich, spoiled brat who never was held accountable for his actions, except to be sent to military school, which he liked. Entitlement and power tends to produce narcissism. Constant lying could be the result of desperately wanting any and every ounce of attention. He thinks this is a game where there are no consequences because he's never had to deal with consequences. His arrogance and need for attention knows no bounds. He will lie to get what he wants, because that's what is more important. Has he done stupid things? Of course. Gargantuan. He tells the most atrocious lies about the most ridiculous things. This is one big reality show where things aren't reality. He has always been rich so he has never had to deal with anything outside of the balloon the 1% hides in. It doesn't matter what happens to soldiers killed in Africa or at a church in Texas, he's not there and it doesn't affect him. He told people what they wanted to hear to get elected. But since he's become president, he has followed through on hardly anything. What has become of the wall? Throwing Hillary Clinton in jail

I think he's horrible, reprehensible, disgusting, and full of hate and darkness. I'm not stupid enough to think that every person who supports Trump is an awful person. There are people that I love and care about that voted for him, and they are upstanding people. But...how much did we as a country lose when the man elected for the highest office in our government goes against and does not believe in the core beliefs, values, and principles that this country has always taken pride in? I can tell you what I think we have lost. 

We have lost our identity. And any chance of coming together grows further apart each time Donald J. Trump pours the line of hate and waits for the powder keg to blow. This country is being ripped apart. He thinks that white supremacists and Nazis are good people and said nothing as they saluted the flag in his name. They went to that rally in Charlottesville with the purpose to commit violence. I'm not saying that there weren't any acts of violence by the counter-protesters. Antifa was there, and they do have the reputation of committing acts of violence. But they didn't come armed and ready to fight. Discrimination in any form is wrong, and it is never peaceful. Discrimination is hate.  

We have lost our integrity in this world. Allegedly, we have an adult in charge that thinks diplomacy should be negotiated through a social app that only allows 140 characters. He freely insults our closest allies and cozies up to leaders like Vladimir Putin and Rodrigo Duterte and sends childlike insults to Kim Jong-un, clearly not caring that Seoul and its 25 million residents (including 100,000 Americans) could suffer millions of casualties in minutes should Kim Jong-un decide to answer Trump's Twitter Diplomacy.

We are losing our independence as well. This is no longer a country that defends all Constitutional rights. It is people using their rights to deny the rights of the person they disagree with. Disagreeing is one thing. Making threats or making racist comments are another. It makes it even harder when our Commander-in-Chief doesn't know or respect the document that he swore to protect. 

He would really love to take away the freedom of press. Why? Because one of the most important functions is to hold the government accountable for any wrongdoing. Each time he rails about the "Fake News" or talks about how some of the most respectable publications in the country are losing subscribers, or how much they are lying - he is trying to hurt them. Politicians as a whole don't like the media, but they understand that our free press exists in order to protect our democracy.

He's also tried to put in place an immigration ban from Muslim majority countries (but not Saudi Arabia, where 15 of the 19 9/11 terrorists were from there, as well as bin Laden.) The courts stepped in. He introduced another bill and in anger, said that it was written the way the Courts said to after that was blocked. He has also routinely attacked courts and judges, is violating the emollients clause, and smacked up against our Separation of Powers and Freedom of Religion. God knows what he has done in cohorts with Russia to undermine our democracy and the presidential election. He hasn't been found guilty (yet) but it is pretty logical to see where it goes, especially when he and Putin are BFFs.

This year was the year of the woman. A week after Trump was inaugurated, millions of women (and men) participated in the largest protest in history to protest his presidency. It has become the #Resist! movement. At every move, Trump and Congress has had to deal with Resist. They protested the Immigration Bill. They protested and successfully shut down the health care bill. In October, dozens of actresses and others in Hollywood accused Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault (in my opinion, harassment is assault.) He is currently being investigated for rape, was fired and blacklisted, and is somewhere in Europe getting treatment for "sex addiction." Yes...I believe it is a true condition but that it doesn't involve assault. It opened up the floodgates and many other men in the media or entertainment industry have lost their jobs. Some of them were men I respected in their professions.

During Roy Moore's election campaign in Alabama to replace Jeff Sessions as Senator, revelations from the Washington Post broke that he had assaulted multiple women...when they were teenagers. These women didn't come forward, the Post, in the process of their investigations, heard the stories and sought out the women. He was an Attorney General in his early 30's and was banned from a mall because of his behavior around teenage girls. When one refused to give him her phone number, he called her school and called her out of trig class. A pastor's daughter, she gave in because he wouldn't leave her alone. In all, 14 women accused him.

The accusers were attacked, naturally, but most did believe them, like with Weinstein's accusers. Why? What woman would come forward, even three decades later, and open herself up to have everything about her life analyzed and criticized? The most personal part of her life becomes public fodder. I don't know many women who wants to go through that because she thinks being slut-shamed is worth ruining a man's reputation.

However, I think there a huge grey areas when it comes to sexual harassment. And that includes the sensitivities and personalities of the people involved. Everyone has boundaries. For example, I'm a hugger, so if a male employee hugged me, I wouldn't mind and would think nothing about it. But if he were to hug someone else, she might think that was a huge violation. And the reverse is also true. If I were to hug my male colleague, it might make him feel uncomfortable or that I crossed a line. Until these grey areas get resolved, men are going to be wracking their brain for anything improper they might have said a long time ago and are freaking out. And let's face it. There is very little chance that anyone in this country who has not said anything improper or uncomfortable to someone else.

And it needs to be expanded. It is not just the man who is the aggressor and the female that is the victim. Women can sexually harass men. In fact, it is often easier for women to do it. Women can often get away with saying something that a man would get fired for. And there are also male on male aggression and female on female aggression. We need to bring attention to these problems and encourage them to come forward as well. Sexual harassment is already under-reported, but it is even more unlikely to be reported by male victims or those who have been attacked by the same gender. And, at least for male victims, in the current atmosphere, it will be just about impossible to report an incident without being attacked from all sides.   

Colin Kaepernick gets a major shout out from me for protesting about something he strongly believes in AND being successful for making an impact. Everyone says when an athlete protests either two things - put your money where your mouth is and you are lucky to be making so much money, now shut up and entertain. Colin Kaepernick risked and lost his career in football, pledged $1,000,000 to go to charities. He has an accounting of that on his foundation page, but every month he gave $25,000 each to four charities. He also travels around the country making appearances at schools and community centers and talks to kids about what their rights, how to handle things, like talking to a police officer, pressure from gangs and drugs, and resources to help them achieve their goals. And he's not doing this for attention, he hasn't talked to the press since last season. I know of at least three awards he's gotten this year for his philanthropy. 

Colin started his protest by sitting on the bench during the National Anthem. After meeting with retired Green Beret Nate Boyer, he began to kneel so as to show respect for the National Anthem while protesting social injustices done to minorities. He persisted until the end of the year, when he restructured his contract so he could opt out and become a free agent. There weren't that many players that kneeled after Kaepernick left. The Sunday before Trump's ignorant comments only nine players. After Trump's comments, I believe that the players were simultaneously protesting the overt racism of the president's comments and social injustices of minorities. Both walk hand in hand.

Trump's hate flared up the masses yet again. The flag and the National Anthem are symbols of this country. They mean something differently to each person, and protesting either does not change or harm that meaning. If it symbolizes the military to somebody, it is not going to change the meaning because someone kneeled. The person has a right to disagree. This whole thing should have been nothing more than a blip on the radar. Why? Peaceful protest is a Constitutionally protected. How people responded was and is Constitutionally protected. And if it were left at that, it would be perfect. Our democracy behaving like it should. It becomes unconstitutional when there are threats made against players and their families, when they are called racial slurs and told to shut up and be happy they have all that money. When people call out that they should be fired (which would also hurt them) for instituting their Constitutional right to protest. Besides, it was not against the NFL regulations to sit, kneel, stand, face the flag, not face the flag, do a jig, or start the Superbowl Shuffle - just so long as they're out at the white line. And who are we to tell the NFL how to run their organization? 

In reality, it wasn't about disrespecting the flag or anthem. It was racist in nature. The crowds that were booing the players, were they respecting the flag and anthem? No, they weren't. At least the players were kneeling, facing the flag and conducted themselves in a respectful manner. What was the crowd who disagreed with that doing during the National Anthem? They were yelling and swearing. During a New Orleans Saint game, the entire team kneeled and the crowd went nuts in reaction. The reason why the team kneeled was because there was a minute of silence for a fallen New Orleans police officer. They actually stood for the Anthem. And the crowd disregarded and disrespected that officer's sacrifice. If it were truly about the National Anthem being disrespected, then a counter-protest could've been organized at a time other than when the National Anthem is being performed. If someone is upset that a group of men aren't respecting our country, then they should hold themselves under the same standard we expect from that group. And if that someone doesn't do that, then I have to think it is really some other reason. 

I want to end this with the mass shootings. Two of our largest mass shootings happened this year. But only the large shootings are mentioned now. Media coverage only lasts a few days before it is completely forgotten. But during that time, they are intrusive, asking everyone and anyone stupid questions ("How do you feel about this?") In the hours after the shooting in Sutherland Springs, TX, MSNBC managed to get a hold of a grandmother. Her daughter-in-law was killed. One granddaughter had passed away en route, or was close to death when she got there. And another she didn't know where she was taken. That granddaughter lost her life too. Her grandson was in surgery for multiple shots. It was clear that the reporter talking to her hadn't been briefed on what the grandmother was going through, because she kept on saying "Oh My God!" My personal opinion is that the reporter should've taken the call off the air and talked to her in private, apologizing for what happened and that her and her family should grieve in private. And they played that damn interview over and over.

The Alt-Right didn't help matters after Las Vegas when they said that the attack was a hoax and the injured and dead were crisis actors. Many of the injured were threatened by people who believed the conspiracy. They were victimized twice.

Nothing is sacred anymore. Going to a church in a small town is no longer safe. When it first was reported, Mom told me that there are a group of me in the audience that have tablets to watch the security feeds from cameras outside. And one of them is armed. It was a kick in the gut on one hand because it had gone against every single thing I was raised believe. On the other hand, my Mom was safe. And it kind of slipped my mind until one of the men sat in front of us for the Christmas Eve, holding his sleeping toddler while almost constantly looking at the tablet. I have to say that I was upset. All those emotions I felt in November came back It was a wonderful service and I really loved it. It shouldn't have to be that way.

And I love going to concerts. Most of the ones that I go too are not at big arenas where there's security up the wazoo, they're at some town's bike fest where you can carry everything and anything you want as long as it is legal (not that there isn't a noticeable police presence.) I have never felt unsafe at a concert. And I still didn't have any problems at the next concert I went too after the shooting. I can't live my life in fear and refuse to give up my fun. I wonder how many people have, though. They no longer go to church and have sworn off concerts. These shootings can happen at any time and wherever you go.

The truth is, from what I was able to gather, there have been 350-450 mass shooting incidents (minimum of 4 people killed/injured) with over 600 deaths and 2,000 injuries. There is one every day. Something needs to be done. There needs to be some serious gun control legislation passed. Each time, we say "How many have to die before something is done?" The truth is, if it wasn't done after Sandy Hook, it's not ever going to be done. It just becomes something else we learn to live with. 

I'm going to end this blog by listing the victims from Las Vegas and Sutherland Springs. I want to offer them up in prayer and let them know that they aren't forgotten. And even though I'm only listing victims from two shootings, everyone should be remembered who were victims by gun violence, those living and those passed on.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Country Fest

October 1, 2017

 1.  Hannah Ahlers (34)

 2.  Heather Alvarado (35)

 3.  Dorene Anderson (49)

 4.  Carrie Barnette (34)

 5.  Jack Beaton (54)

 6.  Steve Berger (44)

 7.  Candice Bowyers (40)

 8.  Denise Burditus (50)

 9.  Sandy Casey (34)

10.  Andrea Castilla (28)

11.  Denise Cohen (58)

12.  Austin Davis (29)

13.  Thomas Day Jr. (54)

14.  Christiana Duarte (22)

15.  Stacee Etcheber (50)

16.  Brian Fraser (39)

17.  Keri Galvan (31)

18.  Dana Gardner (52)

19.  Angela Gomez (20)

20.  Rocio Guillen Rocha (40)

21.  Charleston Hartfield (34)

22.  Chris Hazencomb (44)

23.  Jennifer Topaz Levine (42)

24.  Teresa Nicol Kimura (38)

25.  Jessica Klymchuck (34)

26.  Carly Kreibaum (33)

27.  Rhonda LeRocque (42)

28.  Victor Link (55)

29.  Jordan Melldoon (23)

30.  Kelsey Meadows (28)

31.  Calla-Marie Medig (28)

32.  James "Sonny" Melton (29)

33.  Patricia Mestas (67)

34.  Austin Meyer (24)

35.  Adrian Murfitt (35)
36.  Rachel Parker (33)
37.  Jenny Parks (36)
38.  Carrie Parsons (31)
39.  Lisa Patterson (46)
40.  John Phippen (56)
41.  Melissa Ramirez (26)
42.  Jordyn Rivera (21)
43.  Quinton Robbins (20)
44.  Cameron Robinson (28)
45.  Tara Roe (34)
46.  Lisa Romero-Muniz (48)
47.  Chris Roybal (28)
48.  Brett Schwanbeck (61)
49.  Bailey Schweitzer (20)
50.  Laura Shipp (50)
51.  Erick Silva (21)
52.  Susan Smith (53)
53.  Brennan Stewart (30)
54.  Derrick "Bo" Taylor (56)
55.  Neysa Tonks (46)
56.  Michelle Vo (32)
57.  Kurt von Tillow (55)
58.  Bill Wolfe (42)

First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs

Sutherland Springs, Texas

November 5, 2017

 1.  Keith Braden (62)

 2.  Robert Corrigan (51)

 3.  Shani Corrigan (51)

 4.  Bryan Holcombe (60)

 5.  Karla Holcombe (58)

 6.  Crystal Holcombe (36)

 7.  Noah Holcombe (1)

 8.  Gregory Hill (13)

 9.  Emily Hill (11)

10.  Megan Hill (9)

11.  Carlin Brite "Billy Bob" Holcombe (unborn child of Crystal             Holcombe)

12.  Dennis Johnson Jr. (77)

13.  Sara Johnson (68)

14.  Haley Krueger (16)

15.  Robert Marshall (56)

16.  Karen Marshall (56)

17.  Tara McNulty 33)

18.  Annabelle Pomeroy (14)
19.  Richard Rodriguez (64)
20.  Therese Rodriguez (66)
21.  Joann Ward (30)
22.  Emily Garcia (7)
23.  Brooke Ward (5)
24.  Peggy Warden (56)
25.  Lula White (71)

 

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness
but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues.
They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition,
and unspeakable love." ~Washington Irving